Men. Intelligent. 
© 2013


Challenge #45

Don’t start before completing Challenge #44.
If you want to join the IntelliMen Project, start from Challenge #1.


Challenge: Learn to control your anger and use it to your advantage.

Explanation: I once saw a movie where an ex-inmate was talking to a young man starting out in crime. “Ten seconds. Because I couldn’t wait ten seconds for my anger to subside, I spent 20 years in prison.” He then told the story of how, in a burst of rage, he killed a man in a restaurant because he had messed around with his girlfriend.

Every single day men do dumb things out of anger. This affects men more than women. Women will cry while men will become violent. Of course, other reactions can occur in a moment of anger, one of which is bottling up your anger, which is no better.

One of the most important things to remember about anger is that it is a sign. Just like pain in your body is a sign that something is wrong and needs attention, anger is a sign that something went against your expectations or your standard of what is right and proper. Anger is simply a messenger. It’s your job to understand the message and act on it accordingly.

For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic an immediate sense of anger is normal, since the other driver was irresponsible and almost caused an accident. But you go by your feelings you’ll probably pay him back in kind, or worse, by cutting him off. The answer would be to understand the message that your anger is sending you. What could the message be? It could be: “Pay attention! All kinds of people are behind the wheel. Don’t take anything for granted. Be a defensive driver.”

If your wife spent more money than you would have liked, your anger may be saying: “You need to sit down and discuss your financial goals and agree on a budget.” Arguing with your wife won’t solve a thing.

Understanding the message that anger is sending you is only wise. Look at what God says about this:

Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. (James 1:19)

Your challenge this week, and for the rest of your lives, will be to learn to control your anger and identify the message it is sending you. Once you identify the message, act on it in positive way. A true IntelliMan masters anger, he is not a slave to it.

Notebook: Think of a recent anger episode. What upset you? What was the message behind your anger? What did you do about it? Could you have handled it better? Write down your thoughts.

Official Partner: Talk about how you have dealt with anger in the past and how you will start to deal with it differently.

Deadline: You may begin this challenge immediately and conclude it before Challenge #46 which you can begin in a week.

Post: After – and only after – you have completed the challenge, post your comments on the IntelliMenWorld Facebook or Twitter page, (not on your own page) and write the following:

IntelliMen Challenge #45 done: I learned to control my anger and use it to my advantage. (Add any other comment or experience.)



Links: (when tweeting, use @intelliMenworld)

Verification Checklist

I learned to dominate and understand my anger
I wrote in my Notebook
I spoke to my Partner about the challenge
I posted my comments on Facebook/Twitter




Anger is a moment of madness. – Horatio

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6 Responses to “IntelliMen Challenge #45”

  1. Mduduzi Dwango 4 years ago

    My opinion / comment is very short and somehow related to myself.

    My life would be somehow destroyed if I had given in to my anger, prior to my having a relationship with Jesus & even while am having one- since one’s emotions need to be kept in check (or otherwise under control). That is the work now of the Holy Spirit in our lives..i.e specially in our Hearts.

    By the time I reached the age reason, to identify between what is right & what is wrong, my experience with life had taught me to hate & to look at the other race in anger (specifically the White race) and their apartheid. The thought of them pushing in my Grandmas house with Long Assault Rifles(i.e R 5- Assault riffle) and other heavy weapons searching through my home like they were looking for a hardcore criminal that we kept at our home.

    When I had to leave school, under attack from our very own brothers & sisters (i.e: so-called Comrades) but at the time they were just a group of hooligans and misbehaving gangs of terror, to say they were fighting the then “Bantu Education”.

    Until recently, looks like the struggle of the flesh never ends indeed. Why? Because, somehow today there is no doubt that the legacy/ scars that was left by such activities (plus many others),that would need me to print an entire bio-graph if I were to write about them, would be unbearable. but, not if you have the one who bore our Iniquities and forgave us all our sins. The Lord Jesus Christ, who’s mercies and love stands above all and who taught us to live righteous with Love.

    By the way, I have no anger towards other people , thanks to Jesus. My Love for the Lord makes it hard for me to see someone else consumed with so much hatred and being held back in the past.. as such I do pray and ask the Lord to help those suffering with this anger & hatred to overcome it, in Jesus name. Also myself to always watch & pray for the enemy is roaring like a lion, seeking whom it may devour..therefore to ask the Lord to give me strength to remain free from anger and such other reasons that associate themselves toward anger and hatred. “To be set free by the Lord Jesus Christ is to be free indeed”.
    By the blood of Jesus I am free indeed, Thank You Lord. Amen.

  2. IntelliMen Challenge #45 done: I learned to control my anger and used it to my advantage because of anger we take wrong action in a haste that make us create unnecessary enemies.

  3. Intellimen challenge “45 done I learned to control my anger and use it to my advantage.I commited mistakes becouse of anger and I saw many people doing things that puts them in trouble becouse they were angry with this challenge i can say its true letting our anger to manifest only brings us more problems.I will always fight to overcome the anger.

  4. ike moeng 4 years ago

    IntelliMen Challenge #45 done: I learned to control my anger and use it to my advantage. We should be revolted against injustices and incorporate faith with intelligence -an IntelliMan demonstrates self control at all times.Anger should not lead us to sin…..

  5. jeremia 4 years ago

    Intellimen challenge 45 done# i learned how to control my anger in a mysterious way,something happened and i was so so angry that it nearly affected my marriage, but i calmed down and started to think and something came upon my mind and i was able to control myself and now i am happy that my marriage is in peace.(what if i had let that anger to take control) what could have happened.when one is angry find a spot where it is you and your God think and ask Him,He will tell you what to do,never take action without consulting with God.God Bless the Intellimen.

  6. Intellimen challenge 45 i have learnt to control my anger and use it to my own advantage through investing more in my spiritual life and having self control