The error file
No one wants to be around someone who seems to keep a detailed list of all your mistakes to bring them up whenever they feel like it.
We believe that pointing out our partner’s past mistakes will prevent them from doing it again, but all that really accomplishes instead is to upset the partner and make them feel like they’re always on the defendant’s bench, being interrogated and accused of something they no longer do.
If your partner is currently doing what is wrong, then deal with it; but if they have already truly changed, leave the past in a cold file and only bring it up if there’s a strong motive in the present.
Perhaps the distance between you both is due to you playing the role of the accuser.
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