Are you assertive?
Here’s a word which should be a part of you. The origin of the word “assertiveness” is from the latin word “assertus” or “asserere,” which means “to affirm, maintain, cry out for justice; to embrace a point of view firmly.” To be an assertive person means to know when to say “yes” or “no” when necessary. It’s the balance between passiveness and aggressiveness.
The person who is not assertive ends up veering to one of the two extremes, they’re either passive or aggressive.
In the passive extremity, the person thinks this way:
- Others are more important, intelligent or better than me
- People don’t like me because I don’t have that many good qualities
- My opinions are worthless and will never be valued
- I have to be perfect in everything, otherwise, I’m a complete failure
- It’s better to keep to myself and be quiet than to say what I think
In the aggressive extremity, the person thinks this way:
- I’m smarter and more powerful than others
- I can’t trust anybody, people are all irresponsible
- In this dog eat dog world, I have to get others before they get me
- The only way to get things done is to give orders. Asking is a sign of weakness
- Those who don’t work hard for what they want, only get what they deserve.
With the equilibrium of assertiveness, the person thinks like this:
- I’m equal to others, with the same basic rights that everyone has
- I’m free to think, express myself, choose and make decisions for myself
- I have the right to try, make mistakes, learn and get better
- I’m responsible for my attitudes and for my reactions towards others
- I don’t need permission to take actions which don’t disrespect anyone
- It’s not the end of the world, if I disagree with others. Agreeing is not always necessary or possible
- I have the right to say “no” or “yes” when needed
To be assertive is to be self-confident and to be conscious of your self-worth, with balance and responsibility. This is a rare quality in people. It’s rare because it’s derived from healthy, balanced and just beliefs.
And that’s how, once again, you see the role of intelligent faith – the belief in principles of God. Intelligent faith produces assertiveness. While religion produces one of the two extremes – simply look around and see.