How I met Cristiane
When I was interested in Cristiane, there were a thousand reasons for me not to approach her. I am naturally shy, although many don’t think so. When I was single, it was always difficult for me to approach a girl. I would spend days, weeks, and even months rehearsing in my head how I would come up to the girl. Of course, like any proper shy person, all the rehearsals in my head ended up in disaster. “You’re too young for her…she’s going to laugh at you.” “She’s going to tell you to go play with your toys… and laugh at you.” “She probably likes someone else already.” “She’s going to diss you and tell all her friends…and they’ll all laugh at you.” The life of a shy person is not easy.
Nevertheless, despite the mental torture I would subject myself to, after much suffering, I would still try. And oddly enough, I succeeded more than failed.
However, in Cristiane’s case, the torture didn’t last very long. Everything happened so fast. When I saw her for the very first time, I wasn’t looking for love. After the emotional pain I had suffered from a relationship I had just ended, I had decided to “wait” for the right person. Although she did call my attention, I was not interested in her at first glance. If anything, it was a reaction of surprise at the funny way she was dressed. “Who’s that over there looking like a white rabbit?” I asked myself. (Years later, after we married, I came to discover that the oversize white sweatsuit she was wearing was borrowed from her father. We still laugh about it today.)
But then afterwards, a friend began to speak to me about her, the type of person she was, what she was looking for in a guy, and her qualities began to interest me. There was only one problem, of course. No wait, there were several problems. I had decided I wasn’t going to get involved with anyone for the time being because of my recent breakup. So I had to go against my own decision. Then, let’s not forget my shyness and all those images in my head of others laughing at me. But there was an even bigger problem: I had to face the owner of the sweatsuit. (Yes, that’s what men used to do in the old days.)
The words of another great friend encouraged me: “Renato, the snake that doesn’t make a move never catches the frog.” He didn’t have to say any more… Long story short, I threw my shyness up in the air and I went straight to her father. I felt like I was parachute jumping, only without the parachute. To make things worse, when I walked uninvited into the room where he was, there were at least seven to ten people there (don’t ask me how many, my eyes were blurred with embarrassment). I told him, “I would like to speak to you, sir. It’s about your daughter.” He answered, “Go ahead, I’m listening.” And that voice in my head went, “Noooooooooo… not in front of everyone!” But at that point, I was freefalling. There was no turning back. All my nightmares had become reality. The rest of the conversation will be for another post, but guess what the people in the room did after I left? You bet, they burst into laughter! The life of a shy person is not easy…
As they say, the rest is history.
The moral of the story is this:
- A disappointment in your love life doesn’t prevent you from being happy again
- We don’t choose to be shy, shyness chooses us. But it’s up to us to keep going forward in spite of it
- When opportunity knocks, you must take action, and fast. Sometimes, you may have to change a previous decision… After all, you don’t know how long it will be till the next opportunity comes around
Note as well that the day she turned up in the white sweatsuit, it was her way of taking the initiative to get to know me. And oddly enough, it worked.
Today, I’m the one laughing every day.