Have you ever lived in someone’s shadow? I have.
During my entire childhood, I lived in my sister’s shadow. It’s funny because apparently she lived in my shadow, everything I had, she wanted, and whatever someone did for me, had to be done for her as well, and I would protect her from the bullying she suffered in school. But apparently things are not always how they seem…
My sister underwent several surgeries for being born with cleft lip and therefore, my family and even people in the church always paid more attention to her, many times calling me by her name. And I remember being content by all this, after all, I felt guilty for being born perfect and not her. I thought I had to make it up somehow and the only way I found was to nullify myself. I grew up and developed my shyness to the point of not being able to speak with more than two or more people because my eyes would start getting watery. I had no personality so that all the attention would be my sister’s. I did everything in order not to give work for my parents, who already suffered a lot with my little sister’s health.
That’s how I grew up and became a teenager who was a zero to the left. Until the day I had my personal encounter with the Lord Jesus and became a new youth, without complexes or negative thoughts about myself. And during this time, I came out of my sister’s shadow and began nestling in the shadow of other women of God who had what I wanted, wisdom, composure, strength and spirituality. It’s not what God asked me to do but it’s what I did, without the slightest notion of what I was doing. I got married and exchanged shadows, now it was my husband’s and you who read our book Bulletproof Marriage, know the rest of the story.
We think that someone else’s shadow protects us from making mistakes and even makes us more like them while in reality, being in someone else’s shadow only nullifies us and inhibits our potential.
The only shadow that does not do this, quite the opposite, it gives us space to grow, develop, and mature is the shadow of the Most High. There, we can do all this and rest at the same time without anxiety, fear of things not going right, of being misinterpreted, used or disrespected. In someone else’s shadow, I was annulled, disrespected, devalued, made inferior and even unloved…
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. (Psalm 91:1)
I lived in someone else’s shadow until the age of 29, how about you, have you been living in someone else’s shadow?
P.S. We are in the purpose of Psalm 91. If you want to join, look for a UCKG nearest you!