Can you buy happiness? - Cristiane Cardoso - English | Cristiane Cardoso - English

Blog

Once in a while, someone always comments on my Facebook page saying that I’m happily married because I have money, and that because she is poor, she doesn’t have the luxury of having a faithful husband like Renato.

My question is: So, does this mean a happy marriage can be bought?

When we got married 26 years ago, I had just finished high school and didn’t even have a bank account. On my wedding night I received many presents, but I didn’t get to use even one. Actually, I didn’t even get to spend a night in my new home. The apartment that I had decorated with my mother’s help and all the presents that that I got were left to be enjoyed by another couple.

We came back from a short honeymoon of four days and were transferred to New York. I took a small luggage, and my husband another. Upon arriving, far away from my family and friends, I had to learn to live alone.

The church was located in Brooklyn, during that time, it was a dangerous town. Since I was also responsible for my 6 year old little brother, Moyses, we lived an hour away from the church so he could study in a safer school. I had to adapt to the new life of a newlywed and of a “mother”.

Soon after, my father was imprisoned, and if I were to leave the United States to go see him, my husband wouldn’t be able to get the green card that he needed in order to work in the country. I had to bear the pain of knowing that my father was dealing with an injustice far away from me in order to be strong for my husband and little brother.

That’s when my collection of deserts began…

Without any friends around to share what I was going through, and when I did try getting close to someone, I would be easily judged by what I would say. Actually, this even happens today, but I’ve gotten used to it.

During that time, being a newlywed and the daughter of Bishop Macedo, no one did anything for me, and to make matters worse, I was insecurity itself in person. I would turn red, sweat and my eyes would turn watery every time I tried to express myself in anyway. When I would speak, people would either feel sorry for me or make fun of me, and when I wouldn’t say anything, they thought I was nosy.

I started to look in Renato for this friendship that I couldn’t find around me and that’s where it hurt the most… he didn’t have time for me, nor patience. Aside from staying the whole day away from me, when he would arrive home all he wanted to do was rest. I really felt like a zero to the left…

I would try to speak to my mother sometimes, the few times we could by telephone (international calls were very expensive at that time), but she would always cut me off saying that I had to get used to the life I had chosen, being a pastor’s wife… but I couldn’t express myself properly and I think she would misunderstand me, as if I was complaining – when in reality everything I wanted what to also be useful for something.

Despised, misinterpreted, daddy’s girl, nosy, and annoying were some of the labels I acquired during that time. And as if that wasn’t enough, I began accepting everything others would say about me… I started seeing myself with bad eyes…

But it was good for me. Everything was good. God used everything that happened to me during that time to help me mature and develop my faith. All the injustices I faced, and still face, were and are always rewarded by Him whom I Serve more and more as each year passes by.

This week, I’ll be completing 26 years of marriage for His honor and glory. And no, it wasn’t because of whose daughter I was, nor for the material goods that I supposedly had. No, it wasn’t my beauty nor my wisdom that provided the happiness that I have today.

I didn’t depend on money, a career, studies, beauty, material goods, popularity, friends, groups nor fame – I depended on my faith… that small, weak, insignificant faith that I had back then when I was born of God. It had to go through various tests in order to receive the sustenance I needed in being able to celebrate one more year of marriage beside the man that I love.

Thank God for the battles, tears, for the misunderstandings, the injustices, solidarity, for the difficulties, sacrifices, for the bad days, gossip about me, for being judged, for enmities, slander, and all the bad things I experienced to this day. Everything made me a living proof of the following promise:

“…for whoever is born of God overcomes the world, and the victory that overcomes the world is our faith.” John 5:4

In faith.

Collaborated: Cristiane Cardoso

Leave your comment on this post

  • Melissa N

    Amen! May God continue to bless you Mrs. Cristiane and Bishop Renato. Thank you for your messages of faith and may God continue to use you to save souls and transform marriages! XO

  • Chloe V

    than you sooo much for this blog .. it so resonates with all the challenges I encountered through out my faith walk that I sometimes thought maybe I am believing all wrong .. im encouraged to keep the faith

  • sharon

    Hi Miss Christane This message is so helpful and personal to me as I experienced a difficult childhood and grew up insecure shy and all the rest.
    But Godlywood helped me so much I still fight but I am completely different hearing your experiences have helped, now I embrace my deserts and realise that I had to get through them to be where I am they were difficult but they were His way of helping me.

    God bless you.
    PS keep up the blogs.xxx

  • Dee

    Amen! This is it! You always overcome and will continue to overcome. May God bless you and congratulations!

  • Charmaine Waite

    My God….this is a hitting the nail on the head, straight up picture of my life! Pressed down on all sides. I learn now though that this builds character, stronger faith, determination and a great spiritual life to conquer all God has for me.

  • Angela-Reseda ca

    This is so strong Cristiane thank you for sharing your experiences.

  • Xolelwa

    That is a powerful lesson for all of us. Thank you Mrs C

  • Tusubira Jennifer

    Thanks madam, i have learned from you, money will never bring happiness but it comes from God first and the Holy Spirit then it comes to other areas

  • Selma N Johannes

    This is true Mrs, only God can help us get out of what ever we are going through and we always go through problems just to strengthen our faith because problems make us to seek more of God, and happiness is priceless, only God can give priceless things without any use of money.it just requires faith.

  • Lezaundray

    When we depend on God everything works for our good,even the battles,humiliation and injustices makes us stronger and matures our faith. Thanks for sharing Mrs Cris,I thank God for everything I went through and the challenges I still face,because it is making me to cling to God more and more,to develop and to grow into the woman He wants me to be. I remember when I had a similar problem of not being able to express myself,always being nervous and not being able to speak in public,I would always get angry after this would happen,but my revolt would make my faith to grow each day and I had the assurance that God was doing His work through me and inside of me,I knew that this was not something I was going through for me to be harmed,but rather a testimony that was being created. So God can be glorified through me,through my transformation and perseverance.

  • Julia Nghishiko

    True, Happiness can never be bought. We can have everything we want or own everything the world can offer, but we won’t be happy. But when we Give the Lord Jesus a chance that’s when we become really happy. Being born of Him and not letting other peoples words break us down, because at the end of everything He is the one sitting on the throne, and only He can make us happy.:-)

  • Lira Maculuve

    This message Mrs Cris make to remember when I enter into the universal church I was having boyfriend and when I started to commit myself in the things of God they started to moke me calling me by names, but I didn’t care about it. I continued coming to the church and commenting more and giving more to God. Because my little faith mek me to believe that God was with me.today I’m still in the presence of my God, and those were lifing at me there so envying me and asking way I have what they don’t have. But in everything that I passed I thank God because he keeps me until today.

  • Nikki Karitas

    Wow! Amazing lesson.And if I am to answer this question,I would not delay to state it: no one can buy happiness. But the good news is,with faith and with God,nothing and no one can stand against us.When we have God,they have peace,not because there are no storms in life but because God is our strength in the midst of the storms.

  • Shekupe Shikale

    “The victory that overcomes the world is our faith”. Very powerful. I should always, depend and look up to God. He is the best friend I can ever have

  • Martha Magongo

    faith makes us to be everything and difficult situations approaches us to molds us. wow this is a powerful testimony and of course there is no cent that can buy happiness in this world. when we have faith, we are victories and overcome the world .

  • Hendrina Ngongo

    I have to see each situation I go through as an opportunity to grow more strong in faith. God doesn’t allow me to go through problems that I can not overcome.

  • Thandi Manzini

    We grow in difficult times.Tests and trials are not bad for us believers, actually they are opportunities to grow.We need to learn to pass our tests so that God may use us to impact lives, like u are doing Mrs Cris.When we fail tests we disqualify ourselves from being tools in Gods hand.

  • Lipalesa Moletsane

    Everything in life depends in our own faith not someone’s else.I have to have it for my own.

  • kodde colleen catherine

    For sure, life at times may seem frustrating to the followers of Christ but the most important thing is to portray the faith that we confessed to our Lord then leave the rest to Him.Perseverance is the best teacher because we learn and get stronger in God through the deserts we go through so one can never run away from the fire instead remain and fight the good fight.me to i have to go through all trials for the sake of the glory of Jesus.AMEN!!

  • Lerato

    Money cannot buy happiness but happiness comes from God. Thank you Mrs Cris, God keep on using you.

  • Lindiwe

    Thanks for sharing…we have to depend in our faith not money, because money cannot buy happiness nor salvation. A person who is born of God overcome each and every problem that comes in his / her way.